Good argument, Laura. I want to add that sexual frankness can also make queer folks, especially those of us on the ace spectrum, not only uncomfortable, but embarrassed to come out about our sexuality. The straight male norm can often be oppressive and force us into a box that we don't fit in. For years, I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't think of or want sex in the same way as the dominant frame.
I'm squeamish/shy, and don't want to hear any sexual details in church, ever, for any reason. Not even in a men's group. But if somehow my men's group started getting into that, I'd have no option but to speak about about pleasing one's wife first, every time. Yes, in real life there are occasional exceptions - but they don't set aside the rule. No details here, because as I said I'm squeamish/shy. But this is my principle understanding: if it's not mutual it's also not really intimate, and it's very much not love.
And I still don't want to hear any details in a Sunday morning sermon! Yikes!
I have been preaching in worship for decades and have not and would never have any discussion of sex acts and the sexual anatomy in worship. There are other far better ways to discuss our sexuality in other settings that are appropriate. When teaching on the Bible texts involving sex, that can be done appropriately and respectfully for all attendees, female and male. The heart deep in faith and submitted to God, im which the Spirit is at work continually making us more like Jesus day by day in thought, word and deed understands the love which is the created character of our sexual affection. Your mind and heart will never be in the right place with sex if it is not in the right place with the LORD.
Excellent points all round, and much-neglected also, so thanks for saying them. What too often gets sneered at as "prudery" these days can also be just a way of being considerate. But everyone wants to be "edgy," and edgy has no time for that. Every pastor and church leader should read this.
Good argument, Laura. I want to add that sexual frankness can also make queer folks, especially those of us on the ace spectrum, not only uncomfortable, but embarrassed to come out about our sexuality. The straight male norm can often be oppressive and force us into a box that we don't fit in. For years, I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't think of or want sex in the same way as the dominant frame.
Well and boldly written!
I'm squeamish/shy, and don't want to hear any sexual details in church, ever, for any reason. Not even in a men's group. But if somehow my men's group started getting into that, I'd have no option but to speak about about pleasing one's wife first, every time. Yes, in real life there are occasional exceptions - but they don't set aside the rule. No details here, because as I said I'm squeamish/shy. But this is my principle understanding: if it's not mutual it's also not really intimate, and it's very much not love.
And I still don't want to hear any details in a Sunday morning sermon! Yikes!
I have been preaching in worship for decades and have not and would never have any discussion of sex acts and the sexual anatomy in worship. There are other far better ways to discuss our sexuality in other settings that are appropriate. When teaching on the Bible texts involving sex, that can be done appropriately and respectfully for all attendees, female and male. The heart deep in faith and submitted to God, im which the Spirit is at work continually making us more like Jesus day by day in thought, word and deed understands the love which is the created character of our sexual affection. Your mind and heart will never be in the right place with sex if it is not in the right place with the LORD.
Excellent points all round, and much-neglected also, so thanks for saying them. What too often gets sneered at as "prudery" these days can also be just a way of being considerate. But everyone wants to be "edgy," and edgy has no time for that. Every pastor and church leader should read this.
This is outstanding.
Hear, hear!