You have a way of pushing past the easy fluff interpretations and ferreting out important kernels of truth. Well done. I enjoy reading your articles; this one was top notch.
One reason women of Elliot's era resigned themselves to staying in bad marriages and re-configuring marital suffering as spiritually virtuous is that they likely had few options for divorcing their husbands and living independently. To divorce meant facing ostracism from family, friends, and the church. Social isolation led to spiritual anxiety and second-guessing oneself, no doubt. My understanding is that before no-fault divorce, a case had to be made as to what justified the dissolution of the marriage.This cost money and likely resulted in further social derision. Society looked down on the working woman, often blaming her for husbands' infidelities, and the disparity in pay between men and women plunged women and children into poverty or forced them to marry again, out of desperation and often dangerously.
Actually, as I write this I realize that for women who are not within the 1% and seek divorce today, it's still the same!!
I read three biographies of Elisabeth Elliot this year. Before reading them I only knew about her life as a missionary and marriage to Jim Elliot.
She was born about the same time as my mother. Both Elisabeth and my mother were long-suffering and stoic. Elisabeth kept journals which helps us to understand and know her better. My mother did not. And I know for a fact mother had secrets she withheld from her children. But they were hers to tell or not.
Elisabeth told a friend nine days after her last marriage that it was a mistake. Yet, she chose to stay married. My mother realized her mistake not long after marrying my dad but she chose to stay married.
I am 60. In my life I’ve had many female friends. Women I knew at work, school, church, neighbors, family, volunteer work, and longtime best buds. Most of them have not had or they are not having happy marriages. It’s various reasons. Yet they have chosen to stay in the marriage, also for various reasons. I know a few women and men who are in healthy, respectful, loving relationships but it seems rare.
I think that often times it is difficult for us to understand how past traumas and difficulties can inform our theology and thought.
This is thoughtful and I appreciate how you critique the bad theology while also taking care to understand Elliot and not throw everything she had said into the wind.
I read and reread Passion & Purity as a teen. My church idolized Jim E. and their martyrdom. I never realized how short their marriage was! Anyway, I very much appreciate this and other articles I've read recently. Grace for Elizabeth, grace for young me, grace for those still immersed in that culture.
Outstanding. One editing issue: “The third thing is that this book is that Elliot actually does seem to think that her advice leads to some kind of happiness…”
You have a way of pushing past the easy fluff interpretations and ferreting out important kernels of truth. Well done. I enjoy reading your articles; this one was top notch.
Well said.
One reason women of Elliot's era resigned themselves to staying in bad marriages and re-configuring marital suffering as spiritually virtuous is that they likely had few options for divorcing their husbands and living independently. To divorce meant facing ostracism from family, friends, and the church. Social isolation led to spiritual anxiety and second-guessing oneself, no doubt. My understanding is that before no-fault divorce, a case had to be made as to what justified the dissolution of the marriage.This cost money and likely resulted in further social derision. Society looked down on the working woman, often blaming her for husbands' infidelities, and the disparity in pay between men and women plunged women and children into poverty or forced them to marry again, out of desperation and often dangerously.
Actually, as I write this I realize that for women who are not within the 1% and seek divorce today, it's still the same!!
I read three biographies of Elisabeth Elliot this year. Before reading them I only knew about her life as a missionary and marriage to Jim Elliot.
She was born about the same time as my mother. Both Elisabeth and my mother were long-suffering and stoic. Elisabeth kept journals which helps us to understand and know her better. My mother did not. And I know for a fact mother had secrets she withheld from her children. But they were hers to tell or not.
Elisabeth told a friend nine days after her last marriage that it was a mistake. Yet, she chose to stay married. My mother realized her mistake not long after marrying my dad but she chose to stay married.
I am 60. In my life I’ve had many female friends. Women I knew at work, school, church, neighbors, family, volunteer work, and longtime best buds. Most of them have not had or they are not having happy marriages. It’s various reasons. Yet they have chosen to stay in the marriage, also for various reasons. I know a few women and men who are in healthy, respectful, loving relationships but it seems rare.
I think that often times it is difficult for us to understand how past traumas and difficulties can inform our theology and thought.
This is thoughtful and I appreciate how you critique the bad theology while also taking care to understand Elliot and not throw everything she had said into the wind.
I really enjoyed following your thought process here.
I read and reread Passion & Purity as a teen. My church idolized Jim E. and their martyrdom. I never realized how short their marriage was! Anyway, I very much appreciate this and other articles I've read recently. Grace for Elizabeth, grace for young me, grace for those still immersed in that culture.
Outstanding. One editing issue: “The third thing is that this book is that Elliot actually does seem to think that her advice leads to some kind of happiness…”
Laura, this is phenomenal. Thanks for your thoughtful engagement.
Excellently done, as always. Thank you.
Thanks Laura. This was a really excellent read.