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So sorry for that toxic relationship. Purity culture oppressed us while telling us it is saving us.

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I found this whole essay helpful and right on the money in so many ways that I will continue to ponder. The most helpful thing for me was how it helped me make a connection that’s probably been sitting dormant in me for a while but never had the switch thrown on it. The lightbulb certainly went on today :)

Our church is working its way through a study of 1 Peter, and we are just past the submission sequence in chapters 2-3. It’s because of this study that I noticed -- for the first time today -- how the “women should submit for their own protection” runs completely counter to the way scripture speaks of submission. It’s a tricky subject, I know, and please forgive me ahead of time for any offense I manage to give in trying to put initial words to it. I’m going to take a stab at it . . .

Although both Paul and Peter talk about the purpose of government being the protection and blessing of its people (1 Peter 2:14 + 3:13, Rom 13:3-4), most of their advice on submission/honor of those in authority is couched within systems that they acknowledge to be often (even generally) unjust. Peter really digs into the injustice because he is writing to people who are suffering at the hands of authority figures who neither understand them nor respect them, particularly despising and oppressing them for their faith.

Peter explicitly says things like “not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.

. . . suffering wrongfully” (to servants) — and to wives “if any [husbands] obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives” — “not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing” (to everyone in general)!

These are not situations of submission because it is safe, but submission as a difficult choice — a radical way of testifying to the radical work of Christ in our lives.

And of course, undergirding Peter’s whole talk on submission (for everyone!) is his talk about the radical example set by Christ: “when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.” Clearly this is not submission for protection’s sake!

(Also, I just realized today that the protection narrative around husbands as authority figures may be completely absent the New Testament discussions of marriage. Going to have to double-check that.)

Thank you for articulating these issues with the whole rescuer-rescued model. I will be sitting with them some more in the days to come.

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