First, this is profoundly important and well written. It is a vital conversation to the work of sex trafficking recovery and sexual trauma recovery for victims. Our baked in evangelical permission of male sexualization must be addressed.
To that end, I noticed a couple places where you conflated sexual arousal with sexual desire. This confusion could muddle up what needs to be addressed in a man--namely, what happens in his heart (desire and how he acts on it) versus strictly what happens in his body (arousal). As Emily Nagoski, Dan Allender, and others have pointed out, arousal cannot be assumed to be an indication of desire (arousal non-concordance). Concordance is higher in men than women but still only 50% in men while 10% in women.
For example, you said
"It’s not surprising that someone raised in this context where girls are encouraged to think of themselves as protecting men around them from having sexual feelings (including children to adults) would arrive at a place where he was totally unable to separate female bodies from male arousal – including, but not limited to, a context in which a woman’s body was visible because she was for sale to him."
Arousal may be more autonomic than desire. As Nagoski puts it, "Genital response is specific to sexually revelant stimuli--regardless of if those stimuli are appealing." To be clear, the story of Hutchinson involves violation and abuse, a lot more than simply a body response. He joined his heart to lust and harm. I agree he seemed to clearly have desire (more than body arousal) and followed it into harm.
That one phrase, "Second male voice: I don’t know how wise it was to grab that girl’s boobs, though." has always been uniquely disturbing. The usage of the word "wise" is so Christinese. The whole circumstance isn't wise, especially as more information about the operation has released. Nothing about OUR had been wise to begin with. As such, this event and it's entire proceedings were never even close to the concept of wisdom. Not to mention it's just a seriously stupid thing to say. I wish there was more disgust in the quote, but I guess that's reserved for its readers.
Excellent article!! Fantastic!! I wish there was a way I could print this and have a discussion about this with men...a very uncomfortable but necessary discussion. I am frightened about the hypersexualization of women in some of our Christian churches by men...all a woman seemingly needs to do to cause this reaction is to sit and breathe. It's worse when we put women in compromising situations. It's time for men to grow up. We need to...now. How much worse is it when this behavior and hidden propensity becomes concrete when working with marginalized or traumatized women. There has to be an honest and heart-exposing accounting.
The rules on modesty reminds me of when I was studying to be a paralegal. There was a discussion about laws that ban “lewd and lascivious” behavior as they do not clearly define a prohibited activity but leave it up to a completely subjective standard. The professor joked that the definition of “lewd” was “anything that gave the judge an erection”.
Men need to own their own struggles with lust and not seek to own women. Burkas were designed purely to protect men from themselves and their own failings.
I'm reminded of an anecdote told by Callum of the Lotus Eaters (British news website) when he was adventure touring Taliban Afghanistan. Their taxy driver saw a UAE female journalist in a slightly more revealing--can just see a bit of curve--and the man was aroused/shocked by that "immodesty."
I was hoping you would go there. Thank you for going there. This is exactly what I think, too, and few people will dare go there in the privacy of their own minds, let alone publicly.
>If you’re going to go to a place where women and girls are being exploited, and you’re not ready to die for their sake, you should not be there.
The people who go in need to be crusaders, warriors of divine conscious. Lawful Good men, of deep control. Recruitment should be strict, formal, and ideally following a hardcore cadre. We need Paladins. (1e paladins, for those in the know.)
If there's a risk of death for refusal, pair up the front man with a strike team. I don't care if a trafficker dies as a result of this, maybe it'll convince the survivors to get real jobs. Preferably in prison, but just about anything else will do.
This is a very good, interesting piece. I do, however, quibble with the title. The problem here is not hypersexuality; the problem is abuse.
Hypersexuality can and should happily coexist with ethical behavior. Implicating hypersexuality instead of unethical behavior is bound to go sidewise, because hypersexuality is a fact of many people’s lives that is unavoidable, barring often unwarranted and unwanted medical intervention. The challenge is to help people live sexually ethical lives, not deny or suppress the heights of their sexual desire. We must channel that hypersexuality into ethical expression, not cauterize it.
Doing the latter will just make the situation for the most vulnerable worse.
"If you decide to put yourself in a situation where you have a choice between assaulting a child or dying, maybe you ought to just die."
Wow. As the kids say nowadays, based. Very Based.
Great as usual. Also, subscribed to the Apocalypse Here channel on youtube after reading your last post, and I love it!
"picking your life is the wrong choice for anyone who claims to be a follower of Jesus. "
"Until we have dealt with these issues in ourselves, maybe we ought to leave the rest of the world alone."
Very well put.
Pulling no punches and speaking powerful truth -- thank you for this article.
First, this is profoundly important and well written. It is a vital conversation to the work of sex trafficking recovery and sexual trauma recovery for victims. Our baked in evangelical permission of male sexualization must be addressed.
To that end, I noticed a couple places where you conflated sexual arousal with sexual desire. This confusion could muddle up what needs to be addressed in a man--namely, what happens in his heart (desire and how he acts on it) versus strictly what happens in his body (arousal). As Emily Nagoski, Dan Allender, and others have pointed out, arousal cannot be assumed to be an indication of desire (arousal non-concordance). Concordance is higher in men than women but still only 50% in men while 10% in women.
For example, you said
"It’s not surprising that someone raised in this context where girls are encouraged to think of themselves as protecting men around them from having sexual feelings (including children to adults) would arrive at a place where he was totally unable to separate female bodies from male arousal – including, but not limited to, a context in which a woman’s body was visible because she was for sale to him."
Arousal may be more autonomic than desire. As Nagoski puts it, "Genital response is specific to sexually revelant stimuli--regardless of if those stimuli are appealing." To be clear, the story of Hutchinson involves violation and abuse, a lot more than simply a body response. He joined his heart to lust and harm. I agree he seemed to clearly have desire (more than body arousal) and followed it into harm.
Thoughts?
That one phrase, "Second male voice: I don’t know how wise it was to grab that girl’s boobs, though." has always been uniquely disturbing. The usage of the word "wise" is so Christinese. The whole circumstance isn't wise, especially as more information about the operation has released. Nothing about OUR had been wise to begin with. As such, this event and it's entire proceedings were never even close to the concept of wisdom. Not to mention it's just a seriously stupid thing to say. I wish there was more disgust in the quote, but I guess that's reserved for its readers.
Excellent article!! Fantastic!! I wish there was a way I could print this and have a discussion about this with men...a very uncomfortable but necessary discussion. I am frightened about the hypersexualization of women in some of our Christian churches by men...all a woman seemingly needs to do to cause this reaction is to sit and breathe. It's worse when we put women in compromising situations. It's time for men to grow up. We need to...now. How much worse is it when this behavior and hidden propensity becomes concrete when working with marginalized or traumatized women. There has to be an honest and heart-exposing accounting.
This is a genuinely outstanding essay and an excellent analysis. Thank you.
The rules on modesty reminds me of when I was studying to be a paralegal. There was a discussion about laws that ban “lewd and lascivious” behavior as they do not clearly define a prohibited activity but leave it up to a completely subjective standard. The professor joked that the definition of “lewd” was “anything that gave the judge an erection”.
Men need to own their own struggles with lust and not seek to own women. Burkas were designed purely to protect men from themselves and their own failings.
I'm reminded of an anecdote told by Callum of the Lotus Eaters (British news website) when he was adventure touring Taliban Afghanistan. Their taxy driver saw a UAE female journalist in a slightly more revealing--can just see a bit of curve--and the man was aroused/shocked by that "immodesty."
I was hoping you would go there. Thank you for going there. This is exactly what I think, too, and few people will dare go there in the privacy of their own minds, let alone publicly.
>If you’re going to go to a place where women and girls are being exploited, and you’re not ready to die for their sake, you should not be there.
The people who go in need to be crusaders, warriors of divine conscious. Lawful Good men, of deep control. Recruitment should be strict, formal, and ideally following a hardcore cadre. We need Paladins. (1e paladins, for those in the know.)
If there's a risk of death for refusal, pair up the front man with a strike team. I don't care if a trafficker dies as a result of this, maybe it'll convince the survivors to get real jobs. Preferably in prison, but just about anything else will do.
🔥👏
Well written as usual, thank you for engaging difficult situations with nuance and an empathetic perspective.
Amen and Amen
Wow! What a powerful article!
This is a very good, interesting piece. I do, however, quibble with the title. The problem here is not hypersexuality; the problem is abuse.
Hypersexuality can and should happily coexist with ethical behavior. Implicating hypersexuality instead of unethical behavior is bound to go sidewise, because hypersexuality is a fact of many people’s lives that is unavoidable, barring often unwarranted and unwanted medical intervention. The challenge is to help people live sexually ethical lives, not deny or suppress the heights of their sexual desire. We must channel that hypersexuality into ethical expression, not cauterize it.
Doing the latter will just make the situation for the most vulnerable worse.
Thank you for writing this