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As A Pastor's Wife ...'s avatar

resubmitting my looonngg comment with corrections:

LAURA!!!!! YEEEEEESSSS!! For so long I have been picking apart the tenets of Reformed ? theology to find the root cause of so much of the oppressive behavior I and my pastor husband are experiencing in the PCA. "Justification" indeed! Justification for chronic deafness resulting in mistreatment of so many. It's a weird, sort of masochistic twist on suffering I think, verifying the worthiness of Christ thus justifying one's own unworthiness and the wrath of the Father poured out on the Son. Sick, actually.

When I found out that there were other atonement theories in addition to penal substitutionary atonement (PSA), I was so thrilled and felt that at last I had found the flaw in the theological ointment (PSA). I posted a podcast episode on it on my Fb page. Holy hell broke loose on me. I was "turned in" by Session members of our PCA church to my husband, WHO IS THE PASTOR and he to this day is fighting being ousted. I had no idea what a theological landmine I was stepping on. There is something inherently appealing and validating to evangelical Christians' sense of masculinity about PSA. PSA, justification, the whole legal/judicial approach is so non-relational and (purportedly) objective, gives the illusion of control, certainty, power, and authority. It is telling that few female voices or perspectives are heard in these circles, and that female leadership is viewed as "Biblically" forbidden in them.

I'm not finished excavating this and understanding how it explains my own story of abusive "faith." Perhaps by doing so, others may recognize their own confusion and oppression and find Jesus at the bottom off it all. I'm catching glimpses of Him now and then, and learning to trust my ear in hearing His voice.

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Stephanie Gail Eagleson's avatar

It's really nice to see someone putting a voice to all these problems that I carried around with me for decades. :)

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